♥ ♪ Colby's musical and basketball life! ♥ ♪

Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T05:52:00.000-08:00

Valentine Day? or Singletine's Day?
This is the 22nd years I'm celebrating Valentine's day alone. Today should be a very joyful, sweetest, memorable day, somehow, it became my most emotional and unhappy day for years. I doesn't want it to be like that, I doesn't want it to be so emotional, but what can I do? I've done my best, I put my heart, I done all the efforts I'm able to do, still....... no one really appreciate?...

Anyway, I know there will be someone that really loves me and appreciate my efforts...... yea, felt slightly better... I guess, that's all for this emo post...

满足感

2012-02-10T07:36:00.000-08:00

什么是满足感? 对我而言, 今天我感到满足了... 终于..见了她一面! 她..依然还是我心中的她...一切安好.. 虽然就只是那么几分钟,但那份满足感无法解释, 只希望她健健康康, 快快乐乐的...就够了...=]

Time isn't always the Best Medicine

2012-02-05T03:11:00.000-08:00

As refering to the title of this post, yea.. TIME is one of the medicine but it is not always workable in respect of different circumstances...

自从收到那封信息的那天起, 已经过了将近一个月的时间没联络了, 这段时间确实真的很'煎熬', 满脑子乱七八糟的, 想着时间应该可以淡化一切, 但似乎没什么帮助...
除夕夜的前一晚, 将近深夜时我竟然收到她的信息...当时我真的不知该如何, 高兴之余又有点担心..担心我又会掉入同样的陷阱.. 最后, 我忍着心里的不甘,焦虑.. 冷淡的回复她... 那个晚上... 真的很难入睡...

之后, 陆陆续续我还是压抑不着我的心... 和她继续谈起来了.. 感觉上比之前还要要好, 虽然没能见面...但信息里能感觉到她真的想和我继续做朋友..

到了新年期间, 拜年是每个家庭,人与人之间都会做的事, 想着想着...就想借这个机会, 看看最近的她是不是还好..可是事与愿违.. 明天就是最后一天的华人新年了.. 只能再等机会了.. 没什么..只是想看看她..

在Facebook看到一个post,

"If You can't get someone out of your head, maybe they are suppose to be there"

看了这个post, 发觉到...我忘不了..是不是意味着我不应该忘? 现在也不能想太多了.. 只希望她一切安好..就足够了... =')

我心碎了妳...懂吗?

2011-12-31T11:06:00.000-08:00

我...下厨?!

2011-12-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

这post的主题很明显, 就是..'我...下厨了!'

不是讲笑, 味道还真的不差...朋友说的啦..=D
一路来只拿笔和篮球的我..竟然拿起了'铲'了! 自己也觉得很不可思议.. 以我朋友对我的认识, 我一路来只等吃多过自己下厨..简称'好吃懒做!' xD

至于'为什么'会决定这么做, 我只能说'everything happen for a reason'. 很简单, 就为了圣诞节礼物..
虽然关系已经是冷淡了下来...但, 思念的心好像已经 make appointment 了将, 到时到后'她'一定来我的心'报道'..所以,圣诞礼物就想亲手做一些东西,希望能挽回一些..想想..就想到了亲手做Cookies, 心里是想这应该能给她留下美好的圣诞节..
就因为这原因, 二话不说就决定了亲手下厨'bake cookies!'

一个字形容....香!! xD

经过这个经历, 我发现其实真心为你喜欢和你想为其付出的她亲手制作一些东西是一件很享受的事情,想想她看到礼物..高兴到跳起来的画面, 感觉好满足... 一切都是值得的... 渐渐的, 所谓的'麻烦''辛苦'都被遗忘了...反而当看到成果, 我...笑了 ^^

说真的, 能不能给到她, 她的反应, 她会否不高兴, 一切都是处于'UNCERTAIN'的状态... 但我不要再犹豫了.. 只希望, 我的付出, 我的诚意, 我的真心, 能被看到...

Merry Christmas..

2011-12-24T10:25:00.000-08:00

HoHoHo~ its Xmas! Although whole morning n afternoon 'fighting with notes', but I do have some sort of 'family harmonious' with my big family including relatives comes from penang, my hometown! ^^

Santa Santa, I just wish what I wish will come true, can?
What I suppose to do, What I wish to do as being a person liking her, I've done all. I put all efforts, all my best I can to tell and express my truth feeling. I just want to stop lying anymore, I wish I can face her with my true feelings instead of keep acting like I'm not like that. I wish 'I can be SEEN by her', I wish to tell that 'I'm serious, I'm not playing not joking'....

The only thing I can do now is 'wait', and I'll wait...What I've done and said, I meant it.. so, SANTA! fulfill my wishes can? plzzzzzz

anyway, MERRY XmaS everybody ^^

我喜欢妳 ♥

2011-11-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

有时候, 真的很想把这四个字大声地向她说出口..可事与愿违..错过了机会, 就得承受后果.. 要怪就怪我当初的'害怕'..把我害惨了..

最近FB经常都会有一些quotes, 但我发现最有意思的是'If you Like someone, tell her because she won't wait for you, at least, you've tried your best with no regrets'...
说的蛮对..但没机会..也不是对的时间下说出口只会造成不好的结局... 可我该等到什么时候?
有时候在想...为什么就只是我一个人在努力? 就算是朋友..也应该是双方的付出吧? 我在她的世界里又是什么? 为什么可以变化得这么大? 我...不明白...很累了...

真心的付出...真心的喜欢....真心的等待... 我...喜欢妳 =)

一天天

2011-11-20T07:47:00.000-08:00

时间一分钟一分钟的过...不知不觉就过了几个星期.. 虽然感觉好像没那么辛苦了, 但想念的心仍未减退..
就像'Bii-一天天'唱的, 一天天的讨厌,遗忘...却又一天天的原谅,想念她.. 有时候, 看着那'chatbox'却害怕..看着电话里的信箱却胆怯..害怕说错什么, 害怕没回应, 害怕失去...这种忐忑不宜的心情真的很难受...

有时候在想, 她会否在想着我? 会否因为最近比较少找她而感觉不习惯? 但...这些都好像只是我在安慰自己...

我...是否该放弃?...还是至少..做最后的努力?.. 我..真的很喜欢她...真的很喜欢...

一个月了...

2011-11-06T01:22:00.000-07:00

最近莫名其妙的就看了'那些年, 我们一起追过的女孩'两次, 也不知道为什么我会对这部戏这么有兴趣.
但坦白说,会想看这部戏都只因为'她'. 因为知道她想看, 做足准备约她...但她和朋友看了....

其实,
她不说, 但我是感觉到她对我的那种抗拒. 我不知道为什么, 也不知道是不是什么事发生了, 事情演变到这地步.
从要好的友谊, 渐渐的变得像陌生人. 我明白, 我了解, 可能是真的有事情在困扰着..但可有想过在另一端, 有人在替她担心, 忧虑, 思念着? 有什么事可以说出来吗? 男生...也是人..也是有感觉的... 没有人希望'死了也不知道什么事情发生'....

已经一个月了, 没试过这么久没见她...思念的心.. 伤痕好像越陷越深.. 我试着压抑自己的心情,可'一个再强悍的男生, 也会有脆落的时候'..想找她...但又怕造成她的困扰..我...还能做什么? 真的很想知道为什么.....

我...好想她.....真的好想.......

每个男孩心中都有一位'沈佳宜'...我找到了...但..我还能做些什么?

我想成為一個很厲害的人，讓這個世界因為有了我而有一點點的改變...而我的世界，不過就是妳的心

Refresh & Refresh

2011-10-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

Looking at the night view, waiting waiting and waiting...
I do hate this kind of feelings, mind & heart is full of uncertainty, confusion, 'dont-know-what-to-do' feeling...
There's alot of 'why' in my mind which couldn't figure it out although its been thinking about it for so long since I met her...
Instead of finding her, I can only looking at her page, chat box, refresh over n over again as she is not responding to me...
Tonight could be a hard night, I wish I still can endure over it, I'm here cause I need a person, a 'place' to talk... since there's no one, here is the best place..
No matter what, I will do my best, is worth to wait for someone which I've in my heart, right? =]
night people....

The Matter of TIME

2011-10-15T03:17:00.000-07:00

Time flies, just like after a blink of eyes, it's already end of week 4 of my semester and yeah my Birthday party over dy.

This year birthday party is so happening to me, it actually fulfilled what I want it to be and I can see that everyone is enjoying the party. Special thanks to my parents, my siblings! Thousand thanks to friends and families that attended my party, the presents and the wishes! Love ya <3

Here's some of the pictures!

MY BELOVED FAMILY! ^^

My 2st Bufday Cake! (Cute huh? =P)

ABM!!

~*there are more pictures but its' too much to upload here, all will be available on my FB ^^...so feel free to check it out ya*~

Although It was so happening and enjoyable party, still there's something that night feels like lack of something else. The persons who I so wish they come for my birthday, yeah they didn't turn-up. Throughout the whole night I was busying serving, walking here and there but, I'll still never forget to check Inbox Messages just to make sure I didn't miss out their messages.
"Good Things worth to Wait" - this phrase is so Right rite? I received their messages and although it was just a normal birthday wish message but it joys up my night. Thanks alot to them =)

Further, these days my mood always turn upside down, sometimes HAPPY, sometimes NEUTRAL, sometimes DEEP DOWN. Of cause there must be reasons, and yeah I think I shouldn't mentioned it here but another phrase may describe it which is,

"It's tough when someone special starts to ignore you, but it's even tougher when you have to pretend that you don't mind"

Agree right? in fact, this is what I'm facing and yeah it is a kind of torture. I've decided to do something but now is just the matter of timing and chance and I'm so hope that she will understands and I didn't sense wrong.

Guys, share with you all another good phrase that reflecting the reality,

"I really wanted to talk to you, but I'm afraid that you'll feel annoying"

So true right, guys? You certainly wanted to find her/him but as you care about her/him and so you hold it, endure the torture from waiting, looking at her/his contact untill he/she offline. I'm hoping such days going off me soon, I'm so tired... woops...

Woops, "Make a wish~ Make a wish~"

Anyway, still this month consider a great month to me also although it yet to end and there's something yet to be done. Wish me Luck and likewise to all of you. I think thats' all for this post, See ya!

害怕 Fear

2011-09-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

不知怎么, 就到了这里...没办法就只有在这里抒发我心里的担忧和顾虑..

到了这个阶段, 我越来越反觉迷茫了..不知道下一步因该怎么做...不知道她在想着些什么...
也因为'害怕',害怕过去的经历又在重演..

最近Sem刚开始,好多事情都要烦...希望一切都可以很顺利吧...=]

我的心..怎么了?

2011-09-06T06:31:00.000-07:00

请允许我已华文来表达我的心情..

已经第二天了..自从那天, 就已经足足两天没有找她..预料中,她真的没有找我... 或许我在她的心里还不是一个起眼的'家伙'吧
好烦, 过往那种'思念'的情绪又来探望我了.. 好想找她,但又不知该如何.. 真伤脑筋..=(

She's say 她说

2011-09-04T02:27:00.000-07:00

Yay, finally I get to meet with her. Although it was jus a few minutes of talking, but at least I knew that she's ok, looks fine, that's enough, finally can put down the stone that squeezing my neck untill couldn't breath properly for so long.Hope she will like it, chose it with my heart geh..^_^"I pray, I wish, GET WELL SOON! =) Gayao oh!

My Heart

2011-09-02T21:15:00.000-07:00

Yo, its holiday! Have a nice trip with Company and my families to Bangkok, Thailand.
Having fun time with families and everyone there ^_^

Suppose I feeling emo only will blog, but currently is not really emo instead, I'm feeling lost.

So, I'm 'Lost' as in what? I doesn't really sure what my HEART is actually thinking, I thought it was just 'friend's feeling' but why do I so care when I knew something happened to her?
'在意' - making my mind sometimes are just can't stop thinking, Is she ok this round? Can I go check out hows her? Just a little moment?
'优柔寡断' - making me feeling kinda lost, this kind of feeling came back.

How should I deal with it? go ahead? but How? I.... Just simply don't know.... I think I need to peace my mind and think properly... Even If I wanted to, how should I approach..
Anyway, I'm not EMO, I'm just LOST.. =)

♥ ♪ No music No life! ♥ ♪

The Return

2011-08-09T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hey fellows! Yeah, I'm back for so long didnt update my blog. As what you guys know, I'll be here when I feel down and Yes, I'm 'pawned' by someone.

These days was the most peaceful period of time to me, no love distraction, enjoying single life totally, study, gathering and having fun with fren, FUN!
During these period of time, also, I get to know quite a few more fren in FB and Yea I'm happy to know them as they are kinda nice as compare to those like to act 'high status' when chat with me, I do delete them afterwards.

As time goes by, I think slowly I get 'pawned' by one of them. Yes, she is nice and kind hearted girl. Though she is not outstanding, gorgeous as in her appearance, but her inner-beauty melted my heart slowly, yea I think so. For so long, such kind of feel, feeling of missing come back to me again. Just hope it won't distract me from studying my final that much. Currently, as I think we are considering as good fren, I guess... so, kinda looking forward to our frenship in future. The kind hearted gal =)

Lifeless or not

2011-06-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

My mind couldnt stop thinking these days, many things disturbing and spoiled my always.. what a bad week...

Actually, I don't know what should I say here. Or I should say, I don't which 1 I should start off with.... Im just feeling, '你对人的好, 人家不一定会珍惜'.. And this is what happen to me and what I saw with my own eyes. Saw and read something just realized, Im nothing but a strange person even I've treating her as my good friend. Hmmhm... izit such type of person will be like this? Being her friend also got requirement? weird... To other people, I won't feel the nervousness when talk, laugh with them... but why when talk with her, she will be so cool? LOL..no Idea.. Anyway, I'm enough of it. Whether that person take me as friend or not, as she like ba.... I'm tiring of working so hard alone to improve friendship.... I don't want make my life so lifeless because of her...

It's beginning of new week, I want it to me NICE WEEK!!! ^_^

Unhappy

2011-05-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Swt, don't know why..feeling so down suddenly.. feel like finding someone to talk.. bt duno who should I find..... Im having sort of weird feelings, sort of questiones marks, tired....
Just don't know what should I do.... I'm just doing something which is right for me, I'm just concern people that I care, but why and what actually they are thinking? I rather didn't meet her from the 1st day of my college starts, I rather I don't know her at all, so that I wont shouting nonsense here... Im just wanna release something here......

可遇不可求!

2011-05-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

Finally, my college life starts over again! Miss this life after experienced struggling in the business world, is exhausting man! >
Btw, in this two weeks of semester starts, I realized fate is quite a powerful n unpredictable sort of 'thing'. I met a friend that I get to know last year for 'N' times in these days, I was surprises and actually kinda happy, she was friendly and maybe kind of shy.

Looking forward to our future friendship ^_^"

转身之后... Right after the Turnover...

2011-04-29T09:11:00.000-07:00

*Pic of the day~ This pic meant much to me...close fren will know whats that xD*

After times n times of listening to '转身之后- Bii', just felt like posting something here. NO, Guys.. I'm not emo! ^^

Seriously, just got something in heart that I think should write it out or else it will be gone and yeah we should catch everythings before they go away rite? ^^
I would like to ask this question, “在你转身之后, 你/妳的她/他会是怎样?"
Everyone have their own destiny, path to go and in between, who is the right ones and how should we identify and catch it before it go away?
I guess no one could answer this question since it is so abstract, it is so uncertain. But still, without thinking wisely we might fall into trap and get hurt deeply. So, lets start think about it serious now, trust me! I experienced much of it and yea, it was damnly painful! ohohya! 2012 coming man~ u guys know what I meant....LOL!

*Praying for someone for something Y^^Y

Shop? No is WALK..

2011-04-24T09:57:00.000-07:00

What a DAY! After b-ball session with mates and best Friends, we went to the 4 main shopping centre located at KL! Unbelieveble that we managed to go through all of them but actually we buy nothing...haha!

Just to have fun walking around, eating, drinking snacks. Quite an enjoying weekend ^^

超幸福的!

2011-04-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

*pic of the day, FOOD!*

Happy time always pass faster than normal time, went Jogoya the 2nd time this month with my collegemates and some of of great friends. Long time no see them and yeah they are having good life now, we have small talky joky seesion with them and yeah we do enjoy our meal as well...

*here are some of the pics... Yummy!!!

*Funny Lun playing with foods~

*Jerry with his beloved Joan~

*MEE n T get Shocked by me..xD~

*Reno and His fren kai jing~

*ME and Jerry lou! I looks weird I knw...T_T"

[ Life is great, I appreciate that I still have many good friends around and I love life. Now, my life is close to perfect. why? Cause I still don't have someone to share the happiness with, release displease with, someone I can take care of, someone that she can take care of me~ Wish the right ones will appear and fill up the slot Im lacking of ^^"]
(With HOPE, Life becomes GREAT =])

Buffet month

2011-04-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah, time flies and now my internship is going to be end soon.

'吃, 是最幸福的事情' I'm always believe in this sentence! And Yes, this month is a buffet month! In the past weeks, I ate JOGOYA with colleagues and we do have fun eating and sharing jokes together..

Yea, today again enjoyed TAO Cuisine buffet with a few of them again. I LOVE FOOD! ^^

These are few pictures, delicious huh? xD

Awww! my favourite Salmon~! NICE~ <3

Group Picture~ Enjoyed ^^

Well, this is not the end! Tomorrow will be going JOGOYA again with my collegemates! YEA~ love life man!~

*Although my life seems so enjoy, but no doubt I still do have emo time. Seems like the improvement between me and her is going slower and slower and its near to 'stop'. I don't wish this to be happen, please! I still working hard to maintain the improvement, Hope Hope & Hope she will understand soon....=] GAYAO GAYAO COLBY Y^^Y

一半

2011-04-12T05:22:00.000-07:00

Well, this post is jus created for the purpose of sharing this nice song n This song without a doubt is a song that well-express feelings of those people that having same destiny as me.. N thats the reason why I love this song so much..

*People, try listen to this =]*

喝酒的伴一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚明天要上班
唱K的伴一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活只差那个人就美满

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
节日却提醒我孤单

没有想法有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚
几个留言安慰不了心里的遗憾
没有负担原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌
你羡慕我那要不要跟我交换

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
别来提醒我多孤单

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
没人知道我多孤单.....

今天, 我输给我'自己'了

2011-04-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

Well, today was my 1st time experiencing how was a singing competition about. And yea, it was not that easy, now I know why those contestant will nervous, hand shaky, forgotten lyrics and etc. Stand on the stage, totally a different thing from we sing alone or at k room. You may sing very well but while you are on stage, is different thing.

Today, I lose to 'myself'! Over-nervous and pressure make me forgotten lyrics and 放不够开. Anyway, just take it as an good experience, preliminary stage in getting into Astro one in future? =D

*~sentence of the day~*
Life is full of challenges and surprises... accept the challenges as well as the consequences no matter it is favourable or not... Take it as an memorable experience and do it better next time! =)

Feeling PEACE

2011-03-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

I'm glad that I manage to control my emotion not to be down and try to do something cheer myself up. YES, it shows that my EQ level up! xD

Anyway, its been days never chat with her. Wondering how was she? No idea, the only way can get to know is jus by reading that and waiting fate gives chances to chat and even meet. So hope she's doing well in everything and do think of me at least once? Omg what I'm I saying..*laughing at myself*

Exam date release! Luckily does not clash with the audition but however I'm worrying whether if the competition further proceeds will clash with it or not. Lets see how things will go as time goes by.

*Like the saying goes, "船到桥头自然直"...I do always believe in it...Pray for future and for her ^^"

也许那只是虚幻...

2011-03-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

Guys, yea.. I'm here again.. I do hope that this post will be another happy post, but unfortunately I've to disappoint u guys again, sori. Yes, I'm having 'down mode' again.

No doubt that this time I do manage to catch the precious chance, yes... I'm happy about that, damn damn happy, few night cant sleep. And so? End up here again? Why? Why always I'm the loser? There will be no answer for these question I think.

Of cause, I understand why and thats normal as I would do the same as taking extra-caution to own safety. So, is my fault that failed to gives her sense of safety, I failed to express out I'm just want to be her good friend, struggling to get in her heart as there are so much important persons in her life, Failed to tell her that I'm just someone that besides worry nothing much I can do as I might just someone strange while she having problem. Now I doubt, Am I so weak? LOL....laugh out loud at myself...

Reading and knowing those and I can't even think of any ways to help though it makes me feel slight sadness, this is a cruel torture. And now, I have lots of stuff have to do, How can I handle all these while I'm having such level of competence and mood? wish me luck plz...

*anyway, just hope everything will be alright. Wish everything is fine for her, seriously.... Just want her to keep SmillinG =]*

Back To Yesterday!

2011-03-19T23:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah, its Sunday! However, my mood and mind still stay at yesterday which is 19th of March! Yes, I bet I'll never forget this day! My 1st day of meeting her. Although, she is so busy and we doesn't have much time to talk to each other, but I felt so happy and satisfied Y^_^Y

Of cause, the performance was so interesting and quality assured. I'm kinda enjoying for all those performance although I'm feeling headache at that moment. Overall, is a nice nice day!!!

*Instead of Back to December, I wanna 'Back to Yesterday! 19th of March 2011' x)

It is beyond my control

2011-03-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

Omg, guys.. don't scold me emo again.. it is beyond my control this time!
I screwed or should I said they screwed up my paper! Not I can't do but they don't even consider looking my paper and straight away give me a 'F' even I've given letter of explanation! Feeling unfair, nothing I can do but to pay RM80 to resit!!!!
Now, I've to work+revision+train singing! Omg, I still doubt whether I can handle it or nt. Besides, i'm afraid of whether the resit examination will clash with my audition date or not...darn!! ><"

However, this is not a really big problem as it won't be the end and it can be resit.
If I screwed up friendship between me and her, there wont be any resit for this! Just read and found out something about her saying she feeling so down, stress and etc. Felt some unhappy but at the same time, kinda worry about her as I've few days never chat with her just knowing that she feeling not well. Wondering is she ok? Instead of worrying alone here, I don't know and I'm unable to do anything to help her. Darn, this making me sick, depressed!

Just hope everything will go as smooth as possible to both me and her.
*YOU! You know I'm worry? >< Take care of yourself.. =]

Abreaction

2011-03-05T23:34:00.000-08:00

Now, my life seems like is just the matter of abreaction. Play basketball and go sing k is always the way for me to release all my displease but it just works for temporary relief to it. Other than that, I don't know any other better way to keep my mind clear and do things logically which is keep putting 200% efforts in every single relationships I'm having now.
I'm always the one who 'act' happy, as the middle person for family problems, friends problems as well as trying to improve 1 relationship which I really do cares alot. Like the saying goes, "一个手掌是拍不响的", I hope she will understands why for so long I've becoming the initiator to find her chat and still I'm not giving up. Cause, I care about our friendship and maybe further improved relationship......

*anyway, wish everything goes as smooth as possible, I couldn't stand too much of negative case~

Pathless

2011-03-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

Swt.. I had no idea why I'm here.. posting blog without intention.. just feel like expressing the truth of myself... Yea, I think this call 'emo'? Just feels like 'a fisher without a rod', 'Lee Choong Wei without his racket', 'Kobe Bryant without his Zoom Kobe shoe'.. So weird la I'm feeling....

*What's happening to me? because of her? still I can't find better way to improve our friendship but just can keep in touch through online....haih..

Is the matter of Distance and Timing

2011-02-27T07:57:00.000-08:00

It's been 1 whole week after the Genting trip which I really do have fun with them over there and Yea now come back to normal Colby, Emo Gang President.

Yes, Guys I'm emo again, for reasons that people would think I'm so silly to emo about that as it doesn't related to me at all, or it does but very very very indirectly.
As time goes by, I'm feeling more and more tired for putting 200% efforts in improving, pulling distance between me and her nearer. But however, somehow her response to the efforts I put in really does disappoint, making me feel a little bit of displease.
And yea, now again I'm stuck! I'm idealess! She was so special till I have no idea how can I let her know that 'I wanna be your TRUE FRIEND!' and not 'net friend'. Feel like shouting!!!!!

Next major point is, DISTANCE! I knew that she live somewhere that I have to travel 30minutes+ only I'm able to meet her. EVEN! I wanted to but the possibility she accept my date will be quite low. As she was so defensive in the sense that she taking serious caution about her own safety, making pathless on how to get closer letting her know that "I'm just a normal guy without bad intention, simply wanna treat her truly as my 'Best friend ever or even better'". However, this is also why makes me fall for her, she was so different than others, I....I duno what I can I do......

[ARGH~! stop talking about emo stuff first. Went furniture store around puchong there and this is what my 'BELOVED SIS' done to me!]

Genting Trip

2011-02-20T06:37:00.000-08:00

Yea, is Genting Highlands TIME!

Right after our seminar in TARCollege straight away we continue our journey to conquer GENTING! We stopped halfway before reaching our hotel and go have a glance over the beautiful and meaningful Temple. Yes! we do took a lot of funny funny picture, kinda fun.=D
When we get enough rest in the hotel, we went 1 recommended restaurant by Distinction Chef Devin which we pays quite a 'little' amount to have our richness meal!

That night, although physically I'm exhausted but as usual my brain can't stop moving. Thinking about work, thinking about my result, thinking about everything and Yes, I'm thinking about her. Hate the feel of missing someone, if you guys know is just like '想见不能见的伤痛'..

Another day, we went to the theme park and have lots of fun around. YEA, we banned Ribena Cup which cause headache and stomachache to our daigor Jerry lou. Besides, another daigor Alan lou also nearly vomit out caused by the Pirate Boat! Of cause I felt the same way luckily I still can handle it and it is caused by the in charger control and making the shaking of that pirate boat continue when we've finished our 1st round!
Despite the negative cases, still we have fun around the outdoor as well as the indoor theme park =)

*I realized the level of missing her are getting serious, at the same time I felt that she's like getting bored in chatting with me through her style of replying me. Now I'm getting nervous and 'scare'. I'm scared, of just a Friend of her without improvement, of knowing nothing about her in the future time since I care about her, and of losing her. BIG HEADACHE!!! T^T"

[Anyway, here are two of those pictures we took! =D]

Valentine + 1st Day of Internship

2011-02-14T07:51:00.000-08:00

Ohwell, I don't how to categorized my day, Valentine? Begin of Busy day? Don't know, but I know there is 1 name I can put them together, which was "EMO Day". Kinda suitable right? =D

By the way, my first day of working was quite exhausting but interesting. Get to know that it wasn't so easy to build up such big company, to complete 1 transaction have alots of step to be taken and is not that easy if not used to it. However, by that I can experience varieties of things.

Back to valentine, it wasn't valentine day for me actually. Should say "Single day". Nothing much, just went station1 yamcha with a few friends and listen to their singing session. Having 'don't know how to explain' d mood....

*How How How? How can I get closer~

Weird Dream!

2011-02-12T06:16:00.000-08:00

I was awake early in the morning and actually I didn't wanted to wake up at all, I dreamed of HER! It was so real where I talk with her, interact with her and it was what I'm wishing for after I get to know her. However, 'good times never last long', before I say goodbye to her I was awake by my alarm. I just realized, it was just a dream factually...

*Still looking forward to meet her in future~ =)

Red wine & Fireworks

2011-02-10T09:28:00.000-08:00

Oh Yeah! is a night that filled with fireworks and laughter of happiness. Went my aunt's house to hav steamboat dinner with them, appreciate and felt so happy to have them as a part of my family =)

After dinner and yea is time for me to sing song! Hapi Hapi~ =P
Uncle took 1 bottle that filled with red in colours' liquid. Yea, is Red Wine and it reminds me of her(I remember she likes red wine), so I just ask my uncle to give me a cup of it. Although I'm not so familiar with the taste but don't know why I just feel like drinking it, just want to know why she likes red wine, wanna get to know more about her. Kinda silly hor? ><" but that's me ~ ~ ~

*Life is full of all kinds of surprise, and I'm glad that I get to know her in this new year. I do hope that this was a good sign to my new life since I've really met the right person that having similarities with me and through conversation with her it makes me feel so much relieved from the 'wound', the 'pain' i face before.
[THX! Will I meet you? Wish I could meet you as soon as possible =)]

The Coming challenges

2011-02-09T19:44:00.000-08:00

No doubt, Time really pass just like a lighting strike. CNY ended and yes my internship gonna begin, let's pray everything will go smooth and peace and I wish to learn something there.

Yea, I'm emo, again, without any reason that I can think of. And now I'm just keep thinking now keep on like this, our friendship will only stay there instead of moving closer, what can I do? Perhaps, this is the reason that makes me emo all the while. Or I've just moving too deep, putting too much effort on her? I don't know, I just know I really do appreciate her, I just know I don't wanna lose contact with her but how? Only depending on internet it can't work all the time, I.... don't know how...

Okay, I think thats all for this post. Gonna think of ways to improve..... ><"
*hey, u know that I really do cares abt u? T^T*

Precious moment at hometown

2011-02-06T19:05:00.000-08:00

Time flies, so fast my 3D2N trip to Hometown ended and now back to my sweetie home facing my computer now. During these period of time, I get to meet those relatives that long time never meet and have a small talk session with them, jokes with them, play with them. Although for some reason and I also don't know what's the reason, I felt a little bit of loneliness and displease, no idea ><"..

Yesterday night, almost travel 6-7 hours only able to reach my house due to traffic congestion on highway. Damn, it was exhausting as compare to playing basketball! =X
On the way backing home, I heard of 1 song from 988. "会呼吸的痛", don't know why get touch by this song suddenly, mind pop out 1 person and don't know what's the reason, starting to miss her...

Anyway, this trip back to hometown was kinda fun. Wish the coming days would be great! ^^

Happy CNY 2011!

2011-02-02T10:08:00.000-08:00

Yea, again 1 year past and now is the CNY for 2011!
After having a small but memorable reunion dinner with big family which shown by the picture above, when back home n drink beer alone. Sounds emo? haha.. not so ba, since already used to it, so I'm kinda enjoy it =D

HAPI CNY once again~ all the best throughout the year to all my frenz n family around n of coz her ^^Y

TTF! Gambateh~

2011-01-31T18:53:00.000-08:00

Yea, in the past few days went for my parent's company annual dinner. It was kinda fun and enjoying although no time for me to sing ><"

All the funny funny jokes totally changed the atmosphere to filled with laughter, happy face.

Ohyeah, this is the specialty that day. We changed from drinking Carlsberg into this! Bavaria~ not bad o the taste, very smooth. =D

I wish everything will go as smooth as possible. =)

Crazy holiday~

2011-01-28T06:34:00.000-08:00

Wao, it's been around 10 days after my exam and I was enjoying my holiday all the time! =D

Tried 3 consecutive days went sing K at redbox and neway, it was so much fun and great since I can train my singing skill and I found that I can manage to sing quite a number of songs dy. Quite relaxing!!!

Of coz, still there are problem that tangling me... I can feel that she getting bored n less things to talk wif me, so how can I break such deadlock and to pull our friendship closer? HEADACHE!!! T_T"

I'm 'Dependable'

2011-01-24T00:23:00.000-08:00

Holiday starts, 3 months of internship gonna start sooner or later.

Today morning, went to service my car and follow my dad to do some stuff. Through a short and precise moment outing with dad, I found out a different side of my dad.
Everyday finished his work and back home, he less talk with us. I wonder izit he always like that. However, just now I realized it wasn't the case. My dad talks alot while working, facing those troublesome workers and those stuff that will make a people headache. Of Cause back home nothing much to talk, too much of burden bear by him.
So, besides things that I promise myself to improve my fascination before, now gonna add 1 more important vision, To be 'dependable' to my family, best friends and of cause my future msright!

Go Go Go! Colby on the way~ ~ ~ Argh!!

Fate Fate Fate~

2011-01-22T09:32:00.000-08:00

Fate, WHAT WAS THAT ACTUALLY? ? ?

I'm gonna say is kinda weird that fate often cause alot of surprises. Its been 2 weeks knowing her and chatting with her but it just feels like we know each other for long time(duno she did feel the same way or nt ><)
We have similarities, similar topics and she was quite different to those girls that I met before, there ain't any words can describe the feeling. She was kind-hearted, well-attituded, nt 'DAMN' beautiful but beauty in nature, ain't perfect but in my heart was a 'different perfect'. Chatting with her, just like a relief to me when I'm down, although I hidden my displease infront of her while we chatting, but however her laughter, her smile can push away the displease for that moment.
She was seen to be 'pure' like an angel, But... this causes frustration to me. Frustration as to whether I've enough qualifications to be her fren or if fate permits qualified to be the one take caring her.
'Fear', again it comes and distract me. Since we just know each other not long, whether 'what I'm' in her heart was still unknown.

Thus, Now I've to do my best to be 'a good friend' of her, help her, listen to her, concerns for her n even sharing wif her when there are any delightful stuff happens and ALL OF THESE that I've promise myself to do for her is only for 1 intention, which is SMILE.. Just want her to keep on smile.. =)
*YOU! yes you~ do you know your smile was my relief? =D SMILE ALWAYS! ^^*

LAST PAPER!

2011-01-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

18th January 2011, was my advance year 1 2nd semester last paper! Early in the morning around 4.45am driving on MRR2 to my friend house to work for LAST EFFORT! That was a nice and cool morning! No car was on the road...

After exam, now feel better, not that stressful and can finally get rest. Now onwards gonna train up everything of me! Build up overall of mine, train basketball skill, train singing skill, Skating(maybe) - Build up my Fascination! =D

*where r those car that always cause traffic congestion? =P

*Hmmm, eventhough she was still keep mentioning she was ok now, everything alright. But However I still hope I can find out the actual root cause of his unhappiness and help her..
ZZ~ Don't Keep to yourself! gayao =D

Is 'she' ok?

2011-01-15T22:57:00.000-08:00

Erm.. Fate is kinda funny but mysterious, I met 'someone' who is so similar to me. We have same interest, hobby, things that love to do, even our name was similar as well.
Chatting with her was always provides lots of relieves to my wounds, eventhough was just casual conversation and it's just few times of conversation with her.

But however, got some kind of weird feeling stopping me from going for her. I don't know what was that... Is just feels like 'FEAR of hurt'...
Through our conversation and observation, I can sense there are some sort of displease lies deep inside her heart eventhough she keeps joking and smilling while we chatting. Indirectly, the feeling of worry begin to arised in my brain. I felt that is not a normal sadness for her.

*Although I wanted to help her, concerns, care about her but I have no idea how can I do that... since we are just 'common friend' and we just know each other for not long... surely she will think that I hav negative intention on her..
Anyway, I still hope everything will be alright as soon as possible for her. See her words, I can feel the pain as I faced it before and I know how pain was it.

"Heys~ ZZ If you see this, Don't worry! everything will be ok.. at least still got me, as friend support you!" ^^

what a BAD DAY!

2011-01-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

Damn! I never been so down before! I late for exam and now hav to write letter of explanation hoping they consider my paper ><"..

For the past diploma and last semester I've never been late for examination, why happen today!? I'm well prepared for that paper and I still manage to finish all the question eventhough is nearly 45 minutes gone...

PRAY damn hard that they will accept my explanation letter and consider my paper, I've put 120% effort to study and work hard for it... plz!

最佳男配角..就是我!

2011-01-08T09:44:00.000-08:00

不多说..此刻的心情就像这首歌.."最佳男配角"..
对..在她的世界里..我只是个对她好,关心她,爱她的'配角'..再多的付出..也没用吧?..

分享到这...

开心的定义

2011-01-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

'开心'...到底如何才是真正的开心? 微笑? 狂笑? 傻笑?...

渐渐的, 开心真正的定义我已遗忘了... 现在对我来说.."笑" 只是责任, 日常生活上的应酬..
如何真心的笑..真正的笑到底是如何.. 我想不起来了.. 该怎么办好?..
但, 没关系吧..如果我的伪装..可以换来身边的朋友,家人,"她们"的快乐...再辛苦,再累也值得.. 只要他们开心就够了! =)

*我笑, 不代表我快乐~ ~ ~

New Year night!

2010-12-31T10:23:00.000-08:00

Wow! Wow! Wow! is the end of 2010 as well as the starts of 2011! Having great time countdown and dance like crazy to end up the 'frust' year for me and welcoming the year that I wish that there will be no more sad story occur!

FIREWORKS!!!

The location was Desa Park City, a huge stage was situated there and lots of activities was held around the park... But before that I've went to Sunway Pyramid skate and eat steamboat buffet with bunch of good friends. Kinda enjoy and relax, can actually forgotten everything I've faced for past years. The WOUNDS was not that pain anymore, so hopefully nothing will happen again to seriousing it =)
Besides, 1 big wish and this wish was my wish every year which is to find my 'MSRIGHT'. Hope will be achieve in this year since I've take challenge with my teammate, Alan Kow & Winson Wong although for 20 years never achieved...><"...

Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

心不在焉....

2010-12-26T05:27:00.000-08:00

最近的我...做什么事都好像没在状况内..常自己一个人发呆..也不知道在想什么......就是没什么事都不想开口..除了唱歌! 只有唱歌能完完全全的诠释出我的感觉..我的痛..我的乐......
还好有一班朋友..在平安夜以及圣诞节当天一起去庆祝...溜溜冰, 唱唱K.... 要不然..今年又是一个人过..真的要唱Eason 的"Lonely Christmas" ~ ~ ~
就分享到这吧...心情不是很好.....

Seafood n Peaceful night

2010-12-12T09:06:00.000-08:00

Wao, never felt so much relax after so long of busy and "hard time", went Kuala Selangor makan delicious seafood and watch fireflies by small 'sampan'. Although the place was not very advanced, not so improved like city. However, I can sense the peace and quiet environment over there. First time watch fireflies! Feels great and somemore the sky are filled with lots of stars and the moon was so bright~
Thx the bunch of good frenz for such nice and peaceful trip. Felt more relief to the 'wound' in my heart...=)

*here are some of the photos we took~ ~ ~*

~This is where we enjoy our seafood dinner & the place for watching fireflies! nice~

寂寞寂寞就好...

2010-12-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

不知为什么...这段期间的我, 心情是越来越差.. 好像做什么事都不能得心应手..
本以为已经放下, 心如止水了... 但突如其来几次的相遇, 和相处, 又挑起了我的伤口.. 撒盐好像不用本将.. 为什么都是"妳们"?...可以放过我吗? 天啊, 你明知我为了爱会如何的付出.. 却每次都让我遇见令我伤得最深, 最痛的人.. 有了依靠的"她们".. 不是我不再和她们做好朋友..而是每次我都会差点越过界限.. 我够了.. 我说过我累了.. 可以让我透透气吗? 或给予我真的真心关心我, 爱我的人?... 别人的冷眼冷语..我不管了, 你们要说就说个够..

*我笑, 不代表我开心....因为"伪装"已成了我的日常工作....

SIng K's nite

2010-12-04T19:29:00.000-08:00

First time went sing k at midnite, kinda tired actually.. because too tired can't sing well but still manage to finished the songs..although it is nearly run out of tone><"

However, it is actually good because all kinds of displease can be shouted out at 1 time, feel better after that. Besides, I can do something I like(sing k) instead of lying on bed thinking about all the "nonsense". So wish they don't exist in my life before, perhaps I won't be so suffer like now?

Im still waiting the right person, for so long 20 years...where r u? =)

I-City Trip

2010-11-27T10:19:00.000-08:00

Having a nice and different night with my family and relatives that comes from Penang which is also my hometown at I-City. Land full with trees, trees filled with colourful lights and constitutes a special environment. It would be a nice place for families as well as couple to improve relationship....

Perhaps, when I found my Ms.Right first thing gonna do is bring her go to there because that's how special she is to me just like there... ^_^

The right person, Hard?

2010-11-26T07:34:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I keep thinking and asking myself as well as GOD, 'I just want to have a simple, peace, happy relationship and taking care and live happily ever after with beloved, why it is seems to be so damn hard for me?' And yet I've not received or figured it out the answer to this question, is like answerless.

By the way, 1 thing which I think was true is that 'to have good and true best friend, and to find a person who really do loves and cares you, it should be done during Secondary School period'. This is because there's where people will face each other without wearing an invisible mask unlike the outside world such as working place or even college and universities. I experienced it, nowadays girls are kinda good in tricky skills to make guys suffer irrepective whether they are INTENDED or ACCIDENTED.

In conclusion, it is hard for me to get 1 really, truthly loves me, cares me and worth enough for me to put effort on unlike the past experiences....

I'm still finding you, where are you? Ms.Right~

1 day 'Singing' trip ~

2010-11-17T08:40:00.000-08:00

Today was a quite relaxing day for me, its HOLIDAY man!... So me n my basketball teammates went for singing at 1U Neway. It was quite relaxing and I can train my singing skill again, how interesting and happy it is...=D

After finished sing k, 1 of my teammates, KOKYAU dai gor come 1U makan with us after paktoh.. n we hav a small chit-chatting n gathering.. such a long time never gather together already, S.K.Y.P.E Reunion! xD

Come back from 1u, Devin, Alan and Winson at my room make a mess playing meetoto... lots of jokes around and we do laugh untill upside down.. haha! Such a funny jokers and singers la them... bt it do makes me feel better and happier... THX dude!

*As a conclusion, Colby Ng is having a good day with teammates... n Sorry Alan you not in that picture cause tat time u ran away! =X

當一個男人認真愛過但面对伤害....

2010-11-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

事实上, 其实男人一旦将第一次爱全部付出后

可能就不再认真的谈爱了, 只因心灰意冷了...

朋友们, 你们是不是只对第一次爱情付出最多

以后就越来越少了? 你们是不是长大了就没有年少时的激情了?"

一个偶然发现她男友的过去的女孩的感想：

"这是男生的共同心声

我就是完全这么体会的

真想把失去爱后的男生的心声告诉给每位女同胞

真正的恋爱只有一次...爱要珍惜..

请勿过分伤了男人的心~!

*失去认认真真的第一次爱后

男人可能不会再那样对以后的女孩真正好了

没有心劲了、没有激情了、也没有对浪漫爱情的信仰了

有些事一辈子只有一次..

当全心爱过一个人后, 该付出的全付出了...全心努力去把握过....曾试图给她想要的一切、试图为她而死

但回报是无动于衷的....在寂寞的等待中,

心血一点一滴的滴干了最后心血全无心灰意冷了

等年龄大了、激情不再...加之事业压力,

旧事不想再提起，心力不足

*无奈里不再去相信憧憬纯真爱情......

*爱情失去信仰与希望, 感情失去忠一的港湾后

对于男人来说爱情是什么一切无所谓了

所以不少人去包情人去找第三者甚至去嫖妓

这些现象某种意义上说是正常的！

*男人心冷了就难再热起来

一切不可逆....女人呀..就原谅男人这一点吧

除了你自己要好好把握第一次恋爱的男人外

其他只能怪造物主了！"

*若有个男孩为你哭, 他应该可以陪你走一生

一个真实故事, 那男生哭了...为了一个女孩

他是爱到不知道怎么办才好。。。。

当男孩在你面前哭说明他已经快要窒息了

如果你拉住他的手, 他真的可以陪你走完一生

如果你放弃了他, 他会很难再回到以前的自己"

*男孩不轻易哭泣, 但只有面对最爱的人时才会变得脆弱

男孩不轻易哭泣, 但只有在太爱你的时候才会放下自尊

*女孩, 如果有个男孩为你哭...请拉住他的手...他真的可以陪你走完一生

*女孩, 如果有个男孩为你哭...请不要放弃他...也许一个选择会毁掉一个人....

加油~ ~

2010-11-12T07:05:00.000-08:00

Colby Ng Jun Ping is here to propose to guys who are single the song sang by JJ Lin "加油".. Whenever you are down irrespective of whatever reasons, its okay... take a step listen to this song.. It will definitely cheers you up! thats the way it helps me after tons of 'Hurts' I borne in the past... stay positive! =)

*加油 to ME n ALL OF YOU! promised myself won't be so stupid anymore... =)

绝对不放 & 没关系

2010-11-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

Not in mood to write alot today, pressure from studies and also other significant factors to me affected my mood making me feel depressed...
Just felt weird about my life being like this... everything is well-managed except under love aspect..=.=".. 1 times success love story also hard..

This 2 songs best describe what I'm feeling and frustrating for during these period of time... listen to it will know.. thats all for this post...=)

一个人看烟花的夜晚

2010-11-06T10:53:00.000-07:00

Wow~ 刚才, 吃完晚饭了驾车回家路上.. 突然, 前方的天空出现了烟花...漂亮到~~~

但美虽美...可能一个人看的关系... 很难笑得出来... 再加上要注意驾车.. 只好驾慢点..自己一个人..静静的欣赏那美丽的烟花..

心想"是不是天又在讽刺着我"... 但为了让自己好过点, 就骗骗自己说"这是为我单身20th周年而放的!" 真白痴....呵呵! =X

老爸的生日

2010-11-05T21:55:00.000-07:00

Wohoo! 昨天的我, 心情还蛮不错...和一家人, 姑姑一家人一起庆祝本人的"老爸"的生日...在我最喜欢去的地方.."唱K!!!" 呵呵..可以发挥我的歌唱技巧了...=D

第一次和一家人到'K房'唱歌, 感觉还蛮不错... 有的吃, 有的玩, 有的唱.. 也是个好机会促进之间的感情.. 也可以让我再次发泄自己心低深处的不开心.. 心情好多了..可以暂时不再想那些搞到我现在这田地的'无聊人'...=)
也因为将, 喝着喝着...四支Kampai就给我'搞定了'~ 呵呵!

总结来说, 先要对自己好...不然..受伤害的..总是自己...^_^"..
不说了, 头疼..... 希望"老爸"天天健康, 开心!!!!

歌唱~ ~

2010-11-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why these period of time feels so right listening to music, singing, playing guitar for every kinds of song especially all the 'emo emo' ones....HAHA.. feels so gud man~

After I have actually trained my voice, starting to get many compliments from friends around me after went sing k. Thus, makes me feel more likely to sing k. Fall in love with SINGING dy!

will I be singer 1 day? WAHAHA~ xD

醉酒地一夜....

2010-10-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

不知道为什么这次会将容易醉...平时喝两罐以上都没问题, 今晚既然喝了两罐酒感觉疼疼晕晕的~ 当然, 驾车还是pass的！呵呵~

今晚suppose是很开心的一天, 她的生日派对...看着她开心..虽然已经心如止水.. 但还是有些许奇怪的感觉在缠绕着~
大家都吃得很开心, 和一大班"老朋友"聚一聚, 个个都变了...女的变美了, 男的变handsome了, 单身的都有了另一半...真替他们开心... 就唯独我自己.. 说真的, 还满纳闷的..且寂寞的... 重来没恋爱过也尝尽失败的我, 原谅我有将愚蠢的想法...^^"

当她的男朋友到了, 不知到为什么..就连我最喜欢的烧鸡翼也没胃口吃了...心情越来越"不爽"...看到她男朋友那班朋友, 吸烟的..说话的态度..开口就要"问候"人....越想越不爽..
No offence, 只是不知道为什么...当有的选择却不选比较好的...人心难测.. 突然很感性...paiseh~ ><"

看到了Carlsberg二话不说就拿来喝, 却越喝越苦.....喝着喝着...就第二灌了... 当她走过来要问我还要吃吗, 不知为什么很不想面对她...before她男朋友来时, 是没什么...蛮开心的...也不知道为什么.... 也因为有这样奇怪的感觉, 我回答的很敷衍...答应过她要帮她吃完但做不到..不好意思哦~

回到了家, 吐了一整晚...来回四五回合...好像在打仗将..幸苦到~ 有种很想死的感觉..... 也不知道为什么要将作践自己....hmhmhm~

Anyway, 祝她有个愉快难忘的生日~ 就够了.......=)

枫叶~ ~ ~

2010-10-28T02:09:00.000-07:00

没什么好share其实... 只是觉得心情好了些...所以来这里说说..=)
现在的心情就像枫叶落的季节... 随着风吹而过... 平静~ Y(^_^)Y

也许..我该开心..

2010-10-23T10:05:00.000-07:00

经过了这段艰辛万苦的时间...渐渐的开始学会放开...可能还是有些不习惯..但现在还是得慢慢适应回一个人的时候, 该怎么控制自己的情绪...

其实, 我该说声"谢谢"给'她们', 谢谢她们的无情..谢谢她们给的痛苦...让我经过了这些魔鬼般的磨练, 渐渐的我变得更坚强... 说过了, 也答应自己...从今以后, 没有人比自己更重要...我该爱自己多一些了, 该休一休息了....好累哦!

希望今年的愿望, 可以真正的实现吧!...我的"她"在哪?

原来...

2010-10-13T03:11:00.000-07:00

你们认识很久,他天天朝九晚五嘘寒问暖的电话比你的钟表还要准时,你满心欢喜你开始心怀期待,就连做梦都会笑出来,可是他就是什么也不说,你对自己说等等再等等,直到有一天你看到他身边有了另一个身影,你震惊"不是...这是....我是.....?"

在朋友眼里你们很登对,你也发现自己对他有了些些的依赖,他总是不经意的拍拍你的肩很宠爱的揉揉你的发,朋友关于你们之间无伤大雅的玩笑让你觉得很甜蜜你说你感觉幸福就在不远的地方...就在你以为一切都将水到渠成的时候睛天霹雳,他说他从没对你有过这种想法他说这是你的误会.你呆住了"误会?那么多人前的亲昵.....竟...竟然是...误会.....?"

伤心吗?难过吗?痛苦吗?只是,只是谁让你把暧昧当爱情呢？

其实说穿了

暧昧,是可以推脱责任的游戏,没有承诺就无需负责;

暧昧,是勇敢者的游戏,无畏的人才能在角逐中进退自如;如果你没有铁石铸就的心肠做软胃甲,那么你就别拿暧昧当爱情...

暧昧是，比好朋友再亲一点，但比情人远一点。

暧昧是，你会常常在QQ/MSN等他在线。当他几天没有在线，你就会有些担心。

暧昧是，你会不时去他的BLOG看看有没有更新；而且你会留意字里行间，他对你有没有什么暗示。

暧昧是, 有感觉，然而，这种感觉不足以叫你们切切实实地发展一段正式的关系。

暧昧是, 明白人生有太多的无奈，现实有太多的限制。你知道没有可能，但又舍不得放手。

暧昧是, 有进一步的冲动，却没有进一步的勇气。

暧昧是，他不是你的情人，但似乎他比你的情人更关心你和了解你。

暧昧是，你会编一条围巾给他，但大家从没有开始过。

暧昧是，虽然他不是你的情人，但他却会对你说：你对我是十分重要的。

暧昧是，你感冒时有一个会在晚上打电话来，特意提醒你服药，叫你盖好被子早点睡的普通朋友。

暧昧是，每当他提及他的另一半时，你会万箭穿心。

暧昧是, 为了逃避背叛的罪恶感。

暧昧是, 甜津津又同时酸溜溜的。往往从未开始，已叫人不安，患得患失。

暧昧是，别人以为你们在搞地下情时，你会沾沾自喜。

暧昧是，别人问你们是否恋爱中，你张口结舌。

暧昧是，常常挣扎表不表白。你怕表白之后，你既得不到一个情人，却又失去了一个知心好友。

暧昧是，见到他，你会心跳。见不到他时，你会挂念他。

暧昧是，两个人都会互相猜想。他是不是已经暗示了什么？我是不是自作多情？

暧昧是，每天大家都会聊QQ/MSN，会互传手机短讯，无规律地偶然约会。

暧昧是，除了情人节之外，其它的节日，大家都交换礼物。

暧昧是，你很想多走一步，但又怕会吓怕了他。你会很小心流露自己的感情。

暧昧是，两个人没有承诺过什么。但虽然如此，你愿意付出的，比有承诺的情侣更多。没有责任，但你却很渴望去承担，不问回报。

暧昧, 是一扇门，你可以停留在门外，也可以踏进房子里面。然后你不可以停留在门下面。门--永远不是终点站。

我们暧昧，我们却不属于对方.............

感触~ 感触~

2010-10-10T05:59:00.000-07:00

听了这首歌, 令现在我的感触好深哦... 还真'应景'叻这段时间...首首歌都反映着现在所面对的..希望一切可以有圆满的结果... 不介意受伤害, 但至少希望她能开心就好..那这段时间的美好回忆成了我的精神粮食就足够了...=)

这首歌, 在演唱会上唱显得更有感觉...有开心有伤心, 很不错的一首歌..

天意弄人, 为何? 我又该如何?....LoL

HAPPY BUFDAY TO ME!!

2010-10-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

A wonderful day for me with full of Happiness, Laughter, Memorable night with bunches of best friends and teammates! all the besT!
Hope my wish gonna fulfilled this yeaR! everything goes as smooth as possible without obstacles! Everyone around me are happy and safe! =)

爱与不爱~

2010-10-09T03:43:00.000-07:00

悄悄站在门外
静静望着你发呆
你闪烁的双眼
看着一片海
笑起来

重来不对你说明白
害怕你会被伤害
也许我不因该
站在着门外
所以我们才默默分开

当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
我们都无法可说
你现在的快乐
不是因为我
我很难过

当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
那就松开我的手
故事走到最后
希望你更好过
请你忘了
曾经有我

当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
我们都无法可说
你现在的快乐
不是因为我
我很难过

当爱与不爱一样让人心痛
那就松开我的手
故事走到最后
希望你更好过
请你忘了
曾经有我

充满感情的一首伤心情歌~ =D

2nd Semester start!

2010-09-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

Oh my god, so fast this holiday gonna end in few hours. Anyway, I'm having a happy and memorable moment during this holiday. Thx for my secondary school's friends for the PD trip and no doubt, SKYPE, we are 'Best of the Best!'

This holiday not only giving me lots of memories, besides it also changes me alot. My daily activities, my mood, thanks all the things you all had gave me =D

Besides, very happy get to know of new friend during this holiday and have a great moment with you, appreciate it so much. I miss the moment even is just few hours before, THANKS 'you' *wink*

2nd semester gonna start, Lets start the game! Rock it~

说好的幸福呢...

2010-09-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

This is a song dedicated and sang by Jay Chou that beautifully describe the true feeling of the guys and of cause including me myself.

Everytime when listening to this song, bunches and bunches of feelings will arised and it slowly and eventually touching my heart, broken-heart....

Colby here just a simple guy who wish to have a simple n blessed love story with my true love... where r u?...

我梦见, 我的心被偷了

2010-08-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

今天竟然给我发现到这一首那么有感情的歌, 有够EMO! 很适合我现在的心情...
这首歌述说着一个为爱一个人付出很多, 他的心酸, 他的痛苦...
这不时让我回想到如果那是我, 我的真心会像被撕裂的一样痛吧? 爱上一个不在乎你的人...慢慢的眼泪好像要流了似的, 不多..就那么一滴在眼眶里打转...感触真深啊...=X

喜欢最后那part的一句话, '....
分享给你们听 A.I.N.Y.愛你-G.E.M.鄧紫棋~

主唱：G.E.M.鄧紫棋
分開以後每個晚上　格外的寂靜
滴答滴答剩大鐘在陪著我回憶
電話裏頭曾經是你最溫柔的聲音
現在只有空氣　冷漠地回應

OH　給你我的心　能否請你別遺棄
一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　能否再也不分離
OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂
就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　可能你也不想聽

你的擁抱曾經是　最溫暖最熟悉
現在換了誰安睡在你胸口的位置
你的承諾曾是一種不自覺的甜蜜
現在一劃一筆　刺在我心裡

OH　給你我的心　能否請你別遺棄
一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　能否再也不分離
OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂
就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　可能你也不想聽　你不想聽

回憶對你最後的回憶 (回憶最後的回憶)
是你慢慢走遠的身影 (是你走遠的身影)
然後你離開了沒有痕跡 (然後你離開)
然後我崩潰了放縱哭泣 (然後我哭泣)
恨你恨你每當我想起曾經 (恨你每當我想起你每當我想起曾經)
曾經曾經曾經曾經還是愛你愛你愛你愛你難道還不能清醒

OH　給你我的心　能否請你別遺棄
一句愛你愛你愛你愛你　難道你也不想聽
OH　給你我的心　為什麼你卻給了我孤寂
就算愛你愛你愛你愛你　不值得為你傷心　傷心
Your confession remains to be my final pleading,
But the only thing that’s here with me is tic tac tic tac tic tac tic tac......

真心话与甜言蜜语

2010-08-12T00:35:00.000-07:00

她们常说'女生想听的是真心话而不是甜言蜜语', 然而她们多数都接受不到真心话的残酷, 也就因为这个因素男生就会试着掩盖某些事情只因为'在乎女生的感受'. 那又为什么她们就不能从我们这方面想想? 当然, 我所说的是善意的谎言, 而不是为了个人利益.

事实上, 真心话是可以很甜的, 但她们就会认为那是不真心, 只是用来骗女孩的伎俩, 但她们不了解其实我们也是有感觉的人, 我们说的做的甜言蜜语其实是很真实的, 纯真的. 妳们真的以为被人拒绝很好玩吗? 那种痛, 一个大男人心痛的感觉是妳们永远都不会了解的.

妳们说'男生喜欢一个人可以在一分钟里', 但妳们有没有想过这可是我们最真实的反应, 真心喜欢一个人的自然反应? 矛盾的, 妳们说不喜欢被骗但妳们却以不好的角度去看待妳们所要的最真实, 真心的反应.

在这里不是要批评什么, 只想告诉'妳'...看似甜蜜却又真实, 真心的关心...是我对'爱的人'最真实的反应....而不是说说罢了, 你了解吗?...=)

跟你们分享这首歌'你不知道的事' - 王力宏~

就算一个人...~

2010-07-31T04:22:00.000-07:00

I found this from 1 of the link on Facebook, it almost describe about the things that I'm facing. Full of feelings when reading this...

简单的人，简单的爱，

不喜欢一个人回家，

不喜欢一个人看电影，

不喜欢一个人吃饭，

喜欢有个人一起回家，

喜欢有个人一起看电影，

喜欢有一个人陪我吃饭，

但偏偏找不到一个合适的人，

陪我完成上面的事情...

要陪我的人其实不少，

偏偏就是没感觉，

有感觉的那一个偏偏却是陪别人...

简单的我怎么就遇不到一段简单的爱呢？

我不需要跑车载送，

只要我载的人是你，

就算是一起走路回，

我想我也会很幸福，

我不需要天天看电影，

只要陪我看戏的人是你，

就算电视机是关着的，

一起坐着的感觉也很浪漫，

我不需要满汉全席，

只要是你陪我一起吃饭，

就算只是白粥配花生，

那也是世界上最美味的佳肴了...

只是你什么时候才会出现呢？

我不怕一个人生活，

我不怕一个人等候，

我最怕是你不出现...

如果冥冥中早已经注定了什么，

我想我这一生的宿命就是在等待你的出现吧，

除了你，

我谁都不要...

就算一个人回家，看电影，吃饭我也认了，

我要的就是一个对的人，

如果上天真的不让我们相爱，

那还不如一个人生活...

就算一个人过，

总赢过和一个不适合的人走完剩下的路...

如果我的人生是一本书，

那你和我就是这本书的作者，

我负责把我书中的每一页填满，

而你，

就是将作幸福与遗憾带入书中的人，

只有你的出现，

我这一本书，

才会是一本有血有泪的书...

想见不能见的伤痛~

2010-07-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

爱是一种需要一种缺乏, 所以我们都喜欢情歌.....
不管爱在进行中, 还是仍未萌芽....
不管你爱他比较多还是他爱你比较多....
爱或被爱....其实是一种喜悦~ ~ ~

听说爱情回来过
原唱：林忆莲

在朋友那儿听说
知心的你曾回来过
想请他替我向你问候
只为了怕见了说不出口
你对以往的感触还多不多
曾让我心碎的你
我依然深爱着
在朋友那儿听说
知心的你曾找过我
我要他帮我对你隐瞒
只是怕见了面会更难过
我对以往的感触还那么多
曾给我幸福的你
我依然深爱着
有一种 '想见不敢见的伤痛'
有一种 '爱还埋藏在我心中'
'我只能把你放在我的心中'
这一种想见不能见的伤痛
'让我对你的思念越来越浓'
我 '却只能把你把你放在我心中'
对你的声音你的影你的手
我发誓说我没有忘记过
而关于你选择了现在的他
我只能说我有些难过
我也真心真意的等过

真希望她能明白我的感觉能和她在次遇见就像那天...~ ^_^

Headache!

2010-07-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

Wake up in a cloudy morning as usual n tidy-up go to college. While going college, my eyes as usual were so heavy and keeps dropping but I still manage to reach college safely, Amitabha~

Come to college, watching my fren's presentation, suddenly felt that they are much greater than what I am. Feeling of confidence is getting lower and lower. After I asked tutor about my topic, I'm forced to changed topic since it was generally being presented by many ppl. Again, it beating my confidence further down.

Once I open the google website, Im stuck! I can't think of any topic, anything that I can present on. My mind just can't get clear, wake-up and focus on study. The onli thing appear in my mind always was her, izit a gud sign or bad sign. It happens 3 weeks continuously, what should I do? I'm so scared, I'm scared of if I can't settle my current feeling on her, It would affect my acedemic performance. How should I get clear of my mind of why exactly she is appearing in my mind this often and what is my mind thinking of?!...

Enlighten of love through Taiwan trip...

2010-07-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Taiwan, Taiwan, Taiwan...
This 8Days 7Nights trip is full of various types of feelings not only to the uncles aunties there but also people that keep comes to my mind.

Specifically, on the 2nd day of Taiwan trip which was at 花莲(hua lian), the dragoman that representing the Taiwan tourism company invite my grandpa to sing a song when we on the way to somewhere in the bus. Although I not so understand about what exactly my grandpa was singing which was in 潮州(Teow Chew), however I can feel, sense his feelings of satisfaction, on everything in his life.

From my grandparents, I get to know that no matter what is happening, obstacles, negative incidence, must face it with our true feeling instead of avoidance. Furthermore, once you've set the targets, goals to achieve, no matter what don't stop, lookback, even walk backward. 'Scare' was the scariest thingy in this world, thats why we can't be afraid and once we afraid of it, we will be beaten.

To who you love, no matter expressly or just keep it in heart, both are still the same, carrying the same meaning as in 'You Still Love Her' eventhough she may act differently once she knew that you love her or she don't even care about you, what have you done for her, waiting for her.... just like my grandparents, 'Satisfaction through loving each others'.

*No matter how she will think, act, which maybe negatively affect our currently relationship, I'm just gonna do everything for her the best I can to fulfill her 'Satisfaction of love' because....Most importantly, I Love Her~ =)

End....

2010-04-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

Can't imagine this is happening now... Again is like being poke by thousands, millions of needle in my heart... n Again it happened when she light up the hope in my heart n thus blow away the hope she gave me.. AM I SENSE wrong in the first place or wat... Y should I have to always bear this kind of pain?...

In this moment, I'm feel like my heart is being tearing into pieces... tears r around my eyes.. in every minutes.. when I thought of the moment wif her..
Suddenly feel like pathless, purposeless for all the things I've done, things tat I planned to do.... Y CANT JUS WAIT FURTHER MORE UNTILL THE THINGS I PLANNED onli happens... at least...I wont regret... My heart is so...so... down...

An unexpected day....~

2010-04-01T02:16:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, was a day that full of unexpectation.

Early in the morning, my hp n the alarm clock rang as usual and I jumped up n rushed to prepare my formal clothes for the presentation later on.
-Unexpectedly, I reach college earlier than be4 eventhough I come out from house late.
-Again unexpectedly, my group presented halfway have to stop n continue later and somemore in the lecture hall.
-Again n again, the projector spoiled when we going to continue our presentation and we are being forced to run around there to find a hall that the projector is working and without ppl using it.
-Again n again n again, I presented halfway the lecturer stop me and I was thought he is going to scold me wateva is happening to wat im presenting n done for my part... bt unexpectedly... the lecturer praise me and said tat my answer is among the best answer for a retail students.. it was so so surprised and I continue and finish the presentation as beautiful as I can.
After the presentation has finished, it was like a stone jus being take off from my body... and I know that 2night will be a great night for me as I will be meeting 'someone' that I wish to meet her for a very long time...

When I reached her house, saw someone that looks very familiar and I can't recognize her in the first place, it was her... for such a long time nvr meet.. she still the same... still the one I know be4.. bt this time I felt that she changed alot....

After we bought the movie ticket, which was located at very front seat and we was hoping that the couple seat behind was empty, I took her go around metro prima to find a place that is having a gud environment and food to dine. Then, we settle down at a restaurant which call Wings cafe and this is the only restaurant that looks better in Metro Prima. While we having dinner 2gether, I'm enjoyed eventhough a few times..she was like busying sms or nth to talk wif me... but as long as I'm with her, by looking at her... my heart is melted.. satisfied... n I have no reason why I still having this kind of feelings...

During the movie, we was hapi that there are empty couple seat but unfortunately 2 times we being 'halau' by the ppl who was act sit there but the lucky part was there are 1 couple seat which was empty n finally we can watch the movie peacefully... Although we sat on the couple seat, however in between us still left some spaces. A few times I tried to sit closer with her but I scared she will perceived wrongly that I'm with the bad intention, so I ceased to do so. In the middle of the movie, I noticed that she looks like moody or bored and I was thinking izit I'm Bored? ...so, a few times I tried to talk wif her abt the movie to try to resolve the boredom...

After finished the movie and reach her house, she said to me 'bye-bye' and walk out from my car... Suddenly, I feel like calling her name.. asking her dont go.. but I can't...Im scared... and I started to think am I still love her.... and if yes, how do I proceed to her.. n tell her tat.. everytime knew that she was in trouble, sad, need help.. I was worried n hoping she will find me n asking for help.. tell her that hw sad was I when knowing she unhapi and I can't do anything..... tell her that I miss her much........

Despite all these thing trouble me the whole night afterwards, overall yesterday is really an unexpected day for me.........

How can it be.....

2009-12-06T07:56:00.000-08:00

So long that I stop blogging, too busy.... but something makes me start blogging again... this is just frustrating me and this is the best way to express my feelings...

As stated, How can it be... hw can a relation be so so fragile... treating ppl truly, concerning, caring is it a wrongful act? And yet, this end-up like what I'm having now... all the coldness.... I'm having so many 'WHY' in my mind now... who can help me solve it? or iS it unsolveable?.... sigh....
this is the coldest treatment I get from my simple caring truly from my heart... nt even a 'HI' ..... is strange than a 'stranger'.... from a very gud frenz.....

n Last 2 day, watched 2012 at midnight.... watching all the things happen when the end of the world is coming forward... I felt a sudden scared... not death.. is tons of things I never achieve, tells, do... n 'Appreciation' comes to my mind... What I wanted to say but untill now still haven't say it out.... I realized that if I never say it out till the expired date.. I will damn hell regret... but how can I have the chance to say it out.... sigh....
Hope n hope n hope, plz... the following things will be positive instead of negative... im enough of that.................